Blog: Well, La-tee-da...Mr. Stranger man decides he's gonna just waltz his ass in here and start typing like he hasn't been neglecting the site for ever and ever.

Zach: Hey, c'mon, lighten up. I been busy.

Blog: Oh yeah?

Zach: Yeah.

Blog: Doing?...

Zach: Doing?...

Blog: Yes, doing. When somebody says they've been too busy to come and spend the most nominal ammount of creative time with me, I can only assume that this amazing level of time drain is caused by some astonishing undertaking. Erradicating chlamydia? Supplanting Caulder as the world's greatest mobile artist? Translating Harry Potter into Esperanto, perhaps?

Zach: No.

Blog: No. So what is it? Do you just not like me anymore? Is that it, cause if that's it then well...

Zach: That's not it. That really isn't it. I've been, well, I've been working on the Marketing for this play, and I've been doing this short movie that kinda blew up, and I've been working on this case about a korean meth ring, and between it all, I don't know, I guess I just haven't felt very creative. Or very outgoing. Or, well, interesting, I guess.

Blog: Uh-huh. The old it's not you it's me speech. Touching. Big points on the originality there.

Zach: But it's true.

Blog: Sure.

Zach: It is.
[pause]
Do you really think that I don't think about you?
[pause]
Is that what you think?
[pause]
Cause if that's what you really think of me then maybe this really can't go anywhere. And maybe that's fine. Fuck if I know. It's not like I know what I want or anything. But if that's the way it goes down here, then so be it, but let it be because this just doesn't work. Let this be because you don't like me. Let this be pretty much any reason, but don't think that this is because I don't care. Cause I do....you stupid fucking scripted up the ying-yang website.

Blog: Touching. [with tears] You don't care. You really don't. You can say you do but if you did you'd come, you'd write.

Zach: Do you know how many times I've come and stared at the blank window and typed and erased and typed and erased? Do you know?
[pause]
You really don't get it do you?

Blog: You did that?

Zach: Yeah I did that.

Blog: Really?

Zach: Yeah. I think of you. Often. All the time. Daily, even.

Blog: [sniff] So why don't you write. It can be short or whatever...

Zach: No it can't. You really don't get it do you? It can't be short, or whatever. It has to be...well, it has to be good enough for you and... And that's where the problem lies.

Blog: I just want a little attention is all. I'm not looking for shakespeare, or war and peace or anything.

Zach: Yeah, I know. I know. But, god, while I know that in my head and stuff it just doesn't really make it any easier for me. Story of my life, really. I just, I don't know, push. I have these expectations--for myself, for the world--and while I know they're impossible, that doesn't really help any. They are still there. And they're loud. And I just--they trip me up. I can't do what I set out to, because it just won't be good enough. And...fuck...it just...

Blog: It's okay.

Zach: No. No it's not. It's many things, but okay is just about the only thing it isn't.

Blog: It's okay. Really.

Zach: When does it end? When do I look at something I've done and really say, "That's a really good job, I'm proud of myself, and even if it isn't perfect, or the best in the world, it's mine, and it's good enough." When does that happen?

Blog: I don't know. But it should. And I hope it does.

Zach: Yeah. Thanks. Bach should have been able to write techno, doesn't mean he actually could.

Blog: Are you really that hard on yourself?

Zach: Yep. Sure am. Got some mean-ass rat-bastard voices in my head.

Blog: You really shouldn't be, I mean, I hate those 'should' words, they just... I just meant that of all the people out there that are living lives where kicking their own ass seems an appropriate thing to do, you aren't one of them.

Zach: Thanks.

Blog: Really.

Zach: Well, I'll do what I can to really try to believe it this time and we'll see how it goes.

Blog: It is good enough.

Zach: What is?

Blog: Everything.

Zach: Well, now that's just a lie.

Blog: Well...

Zach: No, really. That's a lie. A big one. Everything is certainly not good enough. But that's the real problem. Because we do need to push. To be furiously unsatisfied with so many things. To fight to make things better. Cuz without that, then the status quo wins.

Blog: But if you apply that to everything...

Zach: ...then there's no room for satisfaction.

Blog: ...or happiness.

Zach: Or happiness.

Blog: Right.

Zach: Mm-hmm.

Blog: So where's that middle ground?

Zach: Fuck if I know.

Blog: Will you find it?

Zach: Probably not.

Blog: Does that mean that there will be long periods of time where you don't write to me?

Zach: Probably. But don't worry, it's not you. It's me.

Blog: Cute.

Zach: I thought it was funny.

Blog: It wasn't.

Zach: You know, making me want to come back might help your chances.

Blog: Are you having fun?

Zach: Right now?

Blog: Yeah.

Zach: Yeah.

Blog: Remember that.

Zach: That isn't always going to be good enough for me.

Blog: And why not?

Zach: Cuz, well, it just won't. I know me. And plus there are people that read this.

Blog: So.

Zach: So?

Blog: Fuck 'em.

Zach: Fuck 'em?

Blog: Fuck 'em.

Zach: Okay, fuck 'em.

Blog: Does that feel a little better.

Zach: A little. For at least the moment. Will you be able to put up with me and this whole little schizo thing I got goin on here?

Blog: Well, I'll give ya another shot. But don't push your luck. You pull another little vacation like this and I will kick your ass.

Zach: You will? Good. I need a good ass kicking now and then.

Blog: Careful what you wish for. Go ask hotornot.com who you don't want to meet in a back alley.

Zach: I'll take your word for it, tough guy. When good html goes bad, I'll tell ya...

Blog: So I'll see you tomorrow.

Zach: Chances are.

Blog: Is that the best I'm gonna get?

Zach: Yep.

Blog: Well, okay then. I'll take it.