My ego needs some help. I'm not sure why that's the case, but it is. I think it may be a budget issue. Maybe I was given a lifetime supply of ego at birth and just ran through it all too quickly. Cuz god knows I had ego pouring out my friggin ears for large chuks of my lifetime. But now...I get anxious. Uneasy. Nervous. And over dumb things, too. Like girls. And money. And the philosophical conundrum of surviving in this meaningless existence. Ya know, fluff stuff.

Girls never made me nervous before. Never. Now they are terrifying creatures. And that''s just bizzarre. Cuz they shouldn't be. I'm usually larger than them. They don't have a tendency to bite. And they don't usually bother me. It's really a lot like my fear of spiders. But yet they have an amazing effect on me. They make me say stupid things and forget to breathe and just look and act goofy. Well, I probably always look goofy. But you know what I mean. And I should say that it isn't all girls--it's not vagina proximity--it's just the girls I like. Which is truly a shame. If I could be nervous and dorky around the girls I didn't like, that wouldn't be so bad. But no. It just doesn't work like that. It never works like that.